Acceptance - taking life as it comes

The world is constantly changing. Life presents myriad circumstances and events to us each moment. Some of these events are unexpected, and when they occur, we are taken off guard and put off balance. It takes some time to come to terms with or accept an event as it is. The sooner we come to terms with life's events and accept them as they are, the more balanced we are, and the better we adapt to life's challenges. Perfection, which is a dynamic state, lies in full acceptance of each moment with focus on the present. Life’s events present us with opportunities to learn and grow. When we accept a particular event fully and perceive it in its appropriate context, we are able to learn something from it that adds to our wisdom or internal knowledge. Once this cycle of ‘event – acceptance – wisdom’ is completed, we are able to move on to the next event without resistance or friction. However, when we resist a particular event instead of accepting it as it is, the event becomes a problem or an ‘issue’.

Until the event is accepted as it is and unless the lessons are learned, the ‘problem’ remains unresolved. Many problems are merely a matter of perspective, and they exist only on a mental level. In such cases, the ‘problems’ are not real, and there is no need for ‘solutions’ either. A problem can never be resolved in the same level of awareness that created it. The mind loves to create ‘problems’ so that it can find ‘solutions’ and keep itself active and useful. When one accepts an event as it is fully, there is no ‘problem’ ever, and hence there is no hurry to find a ‘solution’ either. These ‘problems’ keep the mind perennially seeking something. It creates questions. It makes a person feel incomplete. The mind’s solution to a ‘problem’ is in terms of ‘answers’ or external ‘objects’ that provide solutions or an illusion of temporary ‘completeness.’ Apart from mental ‘problems’, there are real life challenges as well such as the challenge of dealing with a life threatening disease, or poverty. There are also challenges that we face in society such as discrimination or prejudice, that are ‘real’ as far as others are concerned. Since we cannot change society or mindsets due to years of conditioning, we have to first come to terms with the extent of the challenge before facing it. Acceptance is essential to face such real challenges in life, because without acceptance, we are in some form of denial, and we are unable to come to terms with the entire magnitude of the problem. For example, a person who is faced with the challenge of overcoming an addiction or improving one’s financial position has to fully come to terms with the extent of the addiction or the lack of funds before facing these challenges head on.

Einstein said ‘the most important question one should ask oneself is whether we live in a friendly universe.’ Do you think the universe is perfect? Do you think you are perfect? When we accept ourselves, others, and the universe in general as it is without resistance, we see only perfection everywhere. Two persons may view the same event from the same vantage point, but one finds it funny, and another is serious. One feels happy, another feels sad. One is affected, another is not. Two persons experience pain in equal measure. However one suffers while another does not. Two patients get an injection from a doctor. One cries with pain, while another is unruffled and accepts it as a routine procedure. Is reality any different for the two persons? The event is the same, but the response is different. One resists, another accepts. One sees the injection as an opportunity to get better, and another sees it as a pain in the backside. One is grateful, another is resentful.

To some, focusing on the present is easy and it comes naturally. They are fully aware of the moment and fully present. However, past memories, impressions and attachments resurface from time to time. When these impressions surface, some feel like doing something about it. They think that the feeling is a ‘problem’, and the mind tries to find a ‘solution’ through reactionary activity. Whereas others may watch feelings and impressions as observers, even as they experience them completely. They are in no hurry to conclude that there is a ‘problem’ and no hurry to find a ‘solution ‘either. They accept without resistance and observe it quietly, until they understand the event in the appropriate context and learn from it completely. They are not impatient. Once the cycle of ‘event – acceptance – wisdom’ is completed, they are ready to let go and move on. They do not merely intellectually ‘agree’, but come to terms with it fully and internalize it. The difference between ‘agreement’ and ‘acceptance’ is that ‘agreement’ is at an intellectual level, and may still carry resistance with it, whereas acceptance is wholehearted and complete. Acceptance does not imply rigidity either. Acceptance is for the present, and one can be flexible based on future circumstances and events. That, which we accept, loses its hold on us, and allows us to focus on that which is real in the present. That which we resist, persists.