What is Love?

Love is an act of will – namely an intention and action

The opposite of love is not hate but indifference

Prayers for love will not generate any love
Pleading for love will not evoke love
Preaching about love cannot net love
No valentine greetings can perpetuate love

Only action, Action alone can sow the seeds to reap the harvest of love.

Here is an extract from Stephen Covey's book - The 7 habits of highly effective people

'Stephen, I like what you are preaching about relationships. But every situation is different. Look at my marriage. I am really worried. My wife and I just don't have the same feeling for each other that we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore, and she doesn't love me". "The feeling is not there anymore?" Stephen enquired. "That is right", the man affirmed. "And we have three children and we are really concerned about it. What do you suggest"?"Love her", Stephen Covey advised him."I told you the feeling just isn't there""Then love her. If the feeling is not there, that is all the more reason to love her."But how do you love when you don't love?"My friend, Covey told him – " Love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is the fruit of love the verb or our loving actions. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her."


We all have the desire to be loved. But how many of us love others?

Love is the realization and expression of the Universal self. The outcome of seeing others the same way as we see our selves. Doing what is in the best interest of others, as it is in the best interests of our selves to do so.

"Universal Self" in the Gita

The principle behind the Golden rule "treat others as you would like to be treated," is stated in the Gita as " He sees the Self in all beings, and all beings in the Self, everywhere he sees the same."

And

"He who looks on all as his own self, perceiving the delight and suffering of others as his own is deemed the highest of all."

This is the law of the universal self, which serves as the principle from which the "Golden rule" is derived.

Do unto others

The ethic of reciprocity or "The Golden Rule" is a fundamental moral principle which simply means "treat others as you would like to be treated." It is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights. Principal philosophers and religious figures have stated it in different ways.

Islam

"None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself."[1]
“Woe to those . . . who, when they have to receive by measure from men, exact full measure, but when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than due”[2]
The Qur'an commends "those who show their affection to such as came to them for refuge and entertain no desire in their hearts for things given to the (latter), but give them preference over themselves"[3]
“None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.”[4]
"Seek for mankind that of which you are desirous for yourself, that you may be a believer; treat well as a neighbor the one who lives near you, that you may be a Muslim [one who submits to God]."[5]
“That which you want for yourself, seek for mankind.”[6]
"The most righteous of men is the one who is glad that men should have what is pleasing to himself, and who dislikes for them what is for him disagreeable


Christianity

Luke 6: 27-36Love Your Enemies27 "But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If anyone hits you on the cheek, offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don't hold back your shirt either. 30 Give to everyone who asks from you, and from one who takes away your things, don't ask for them back. 31 Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them. 32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 If you do [what is] good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do [what is] good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is gracious to the ungrateful and evil. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.


A key element of the ethic of reciprocity is that a person attempting to live by this rule treats all people, not just members of his or her in-group, with consideration.

If you can live it and die by it, it is true

We as human beings, are the masters of our destinies, and our lives are proof of what we believe. Jesus not only lived by the truth that he realized and spoke it, he died by it, as a deliberate and conscious decision.

How many of us are capable of dying for something that we believe is true, with full awareness and consciousness of its implications? Only when we come face to face with death (not in a state of madness or inebriation, or a state of fear and despair, but in a detached state of calm and deliberate awareness), we come face to face with truth. Those who embrace death without fear have realized truth. Those who conquer death while being alive have realized the very truth of life itself.

True for one, true for all

Let us consider the 3 possibilities that encompass all possibilities

Case 1: There is an absolute truth

This case allows for room for it to be true, since "There is an absolute truth" is allowed the possibility of being an absolute truth.

There is no absolute truth that cannot be realized.if there is an absolute truth that cannot be realized, then it is either not universal(and hence not absolute) or not true. Hence the absolute truth would be capabable of realization by all (irrespective of religious beliefs, caste, color, race etc). Also, it would not be specific to any method or approach that limits its universality (all approaches would converge).

Case 2: There is no absolute truth

If so, even the case that "There is no absolute truth" would not be an absolute truth. However, the way the case is structured (in definite and absolute terms), the case would leave no room for uncertainty. Hence, Case 2 is proved to be false by contradiction.

Case 3: There is uncertainty regarding the existance of an absolute truth, and even if it were to exist, it may not be determined


In this case, if even one person were able to realize absolute truth (even if that person would be incapable of proving it to others), the case would be dismissed, because not only would absolute truth exist for that person, but that person would have also determined its existance.

Assumption: At least one person has realized absolute truth (e.g., Jesus)

Conclusion: If there is an absolute truth that can be realized even by one person, it is realizable by all. We all have something in common (the capability to realized absolute truth). This capablity may be termed as ' the universal self' or that aspect of us that we share in common with all.

In order to translate this capability or 'universal self' to reality during a process termed as 'realization', all we have to do is recognize the universal self in all. In other words, we have to live the absolute truth by viewing all beings as a part of our selves, by recognizing the universal self present in us, in all. Coincidentally, this principle of universal self is taught by several sources (e.g., Jesus, Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita,etc) without reference to the logic behind it.

Times have changed

The Bhagavad Gita dates to a time when a person's duty or dharma was determined by caste and birth. In today's world, caste or birth is losing its significance. In fact, the caste system is seen as an evil that is dragging the country down and dividing the people.

Today, dharma or duty is not based on caste. Even so, the universal and timeless principle of Karma Yoga (do your duty, not based on the results) as expounded by Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita rings true even today, even though the factors that determine 'dharma' have changed. Today our duty is to contribute to society and humanity according to the best of our capabilities. To determine our duty, we must first know our strengths and talents. Once known, our duty is to apply our talents in the manner by which we can best contribute to humanity.

In the time of Arjuna and Krishna, people of different caste and tendencies are prescibed different paths (bhakti, jnana etc), because people's duty and manner of performing it was determined by birth. Today, the constitutions of democratic nations declare all human beings as equal. Hence there is a need for one path (which accomodates aspects of each of the paths) that can be followed universally by anyone to reach the ultimate goal of perfection, which would be attainable by all.